Should You Accept a Counter-Offer? (7 Questions to Ask Yourself)

You've done it. After weeks of interviews, you landed an offer from another company. You drafted your resignation letter, walked into your manager's office, and delivered the news.

And then — instead of accepting your resignation — your boss made you an offer to stay.

More money. A promotion. A promise that things will change. Maybe all three.

Now you're standing at a fork in the road, and the decision feels enormous. The new opportunity is exciting but uncertain. Your current job is familiar, and suddenly it's offering you things you've wanted for months (or years). The emotional pull to stay is powerful — it feels like validation, like they finally see your worth.

But here's the thing: this decision shouldn't be made emotionally. The data on counter-offers is clear, and it's not encouraging. Research from recruitment industry surveys consistently shows that 50–80% of people who accept counter-offers leave within six months anyway. At the twelve-month mark, that number climbs to roughly 90%.

That doesn't mean accepting is always wrong. But it does mean you need a structured way to evaluate the decision — not a gut reaction in your manager's office.

Here are seven questions to ask yourself before you answer.

1. Why Did I Start Looking in the First Place?

This is the most important question, and you need to answer it honestly — not the sanitized version you told your boss, but the real reason.

People rarely leave jobs solely over money. They leave because of:

A manager who doesn't support their growth

A lack of career progression or meaningful work

A toxic or stagnant team culture

Burnout from chronic overwork with no recognition

A feeling that their contributions don't matter

The test: Write down the three biggest reasons you started job searching. Now look at the counter-offer. Does it address all three — or just the salary?

If your reasons were primarily about compensation and the counter-offer brings you to market rate for your role, staying might make sense. But if you were leaving because of your manager, the culture, or a lack of growth — more money won't fix those problems. It will just make them temporarily more tolerable.

Scenario — Sarah, Marketing Manager: Sarah was underpaid by $15K and frustrated by a micromanaging director. Her employer countered with a $20K raise. She stayed. Three months later, the director's behavior hadn't changed — but now Sarah felt trapped because she'd "already played the resignation card." She left six months later, wishing she'd taken the original offer.

2. Why Is This Offer Coming Now — and Not Before?

Your employer knew your salary yesterday. They knew it last month. They knew it when you were grinding through that critical project, staying late, picking up slack. They chose not to pay you more.

Now that you're leaving, they suddenly found the budget.

Ask yourself: If they could afford to pay me this much now, why weren't they paying me this much already? The answer usually isn't flattering. Counter-offers are almost always reactive — they're about retention economics, not recognition.

Replacing an employee typically costs 50–200% of their annual salary when you factor in recruiting, interviewing, onboarding, and the productivity gap. That means your counter-offer isn't generosity — it's the cheaper option compared to starting a search.

This doesn't make it malicious. But it should calibrate your expectations about what the offer represents. It's a business decision. Treat it like one.

3. Will My Loyalty Be Questioned Going Forward?

This is the risk most people underestimate.

Once you've signaled that you were ready to leave, the dynamic changes — regardless of what your manager says in the moment. Here's what often happens after someone accepts a counter-offer:

Promotions get redirected. When the next leadership opportunity opens, management may favor someone whose commitment isn't in question.

Layoff vulnerability increases. If headcount cuts come, the person who "had one foot out the door" is an easier choice.

Trust erodes quietly. Your manager may not say anything, but assignment patterns, information sharing, and meeting invitations can subtly shift.

The test: Imagine it's performance review time, six months from now. Will your manager evaluate your work purely on merit — or will the resignation attempt color their perception? Be honest with yourself. Scenario — James, Software Engineer: James accepted a 15% raise counter-offer after getting an offer from a competitor. His manager was warm about it at the time. But over the next quarter, James noticed he was excluded from a key architecture initiative and his peer was promoted to Tech Lead instead. When James asked why, his manager said it was about "commitment to the team's long-term vision." James understood the subtext.

4. Does This Counter-Offer Actually Match My Market Value?

Sometimes a counter-offer sounds impressive in percentage terms — "a 15% raise!" — but still leaves you below market rate.

If you were underpaid by 25% and the counter-offer closes half that gap, you're still underpaid. And now you've burned your leverage, because you can't credibly threaten to leave again anytime soon.

How to check: Use salary data for your specific role and city to see where the counter-offer falls relative to the market median. Also compare total compensation — base salary, equity, bonus, benefits — not just the base number.

If the counter-offer brings you to the 50th–75th percentile for your role and experience, that's genuine market correction. If it barely nudges you from the 25th to the 35th percentile, it's a band-aid, not a fix.

The comparison that matters: How does the counter-offer stack up against the new company's offer on a total-compensation basis? Factor in equity vesting schedules, bonus targets, health insurance quality, PTO, and remote flexibility. Sometimes a "bigger" counter-offer is actually worth less when you look at the full package.

5. Has Anything Structurally Changed — or Just the Number on My Paycheck?

A salary increase is the easiest thing for a company to offer because it requires no organizational change. It doesn't require your manager to manage differently, the company to create a promotion path, or the culture to shift.

The questions that reveal structural change:

Is there a new role or title, with documented responsibilities? Or just a pay bump in the same position?

Has your manager committed to specific changes in how they work with you — with a timeline?

Is there a written development plan with milestones for promotion?

Have the workload or team dynamics that burned you out been addressed?

If the only thing that changed is the number on your offer letter, you're accepting the same job that made you want to leave — just with a higher price tag on your frustration.

Scenario — Priya, Data Scientist: Priya's counter-offer included a raise and a written plan: she'd transition to a senior role within six months, get a dedicated mentorship slot with the VP of Data, and shift from maintenance work to building new ML models. Her company put it in writing with quarterly checkpoints. Priya stayed — and the company followed through. Two years later, she's leading a team. The key difference: the counter-offer came with structural commitments, not just money.

6. What Does the New Opportunity Actually Offer Beyond Salary?

In the emotional moment of receiving a counter-offer, people tend to compare numbers. But the new opportunity likely offered things that no counter-offer can replicate:

A fresh start with a team that chose you without needing to be threatened with your departure

New skills and challenges that advance your career in directions your current role can't

A different management style that might be a better fit for how you work

A company trajectory that offers more long-term upside (growth stage, market position, funding)

Better work-life balance, location flexibility, or benefits

The test: If the new company offered the exact same salary as your current counter-offer, would you still be tempted to leave? If yes, the money isn't the deciding factor — and the counter-offer isn't solving your real problem.

Career growth is nonlinear. Sometimes the best move for your five-year trajectory is a lateral move into a company where you'll learn faster, ship bigger things, or work with people who push you to a level your current environment can't.

7. Can I Commit to Staying for at Least 18 Months?

If you accept the counter-offer, you're making an implicit commitment. Your employer invested in keeping you. Your manager went to bat for the budget. Your team breathed a sigh of relief.

If you leave three months later — because the problems resurfaced, the promises weren't kept, or a better offer showed up — you've damaged trust and potentially your professional reputation in your industry.

The honest question: Based on everything you know about this job, this company, and the reasons you wanted to leave — can you genuinely commit to being engaged and productive here for at least 18 months?

If the answer is "probably not" or "I'm not sure," then accepting the counter-offer is just delaying your departure while adding professional risk. It's better to make a clean break now.

The Decision Framework: Stay vs. Go

After working through the seven questions, tally where you land:

Signs you should accept the counter-offer:

Your primary reason for leaving was compensation, and the counter-offer reaches market rate

The company has made structural commitments in writing (new role, development plan, team changes)

You genuinely trust your manager and believe the relationship is unaffected

The new opportunity isn't significantly better in non-salary dimensions

You can commit to staying 18+ months with real engagement

Signs you should decline and move on:

Your reasons for leaving go beyond money (management, culture, growth, burnout)

The counter-offer still leaves you below market rate

Promises are verbal only — nothing in writing

You suspect your loyalty will be questioned going forward

The new opportunity offers meaningful career growth your current role can't match

You already mentally checked out before the counter-offer arrived

The rule of thumb: If you have to convince yourself to stay, you should probably go. The best counter-offer acceptances feel obvious — like the company genuinely heard you and made changes that address the root problem. If it feels like a negotiation tactic rather than a turning point, trust that instinct.

How to Decline a Counter-Offer Professionally

If you've decided to leave, be direct and gracious:

"Thank you for the offer — it means a lot that you value my work here. After careful consideration, I've decided to move forward with the new opportunity. This wasn't an easy decision, and I'm grateful for everything I've learned. I'm committed to making the transition as smooth as possible during my notice period."

Don't over-explain, don't criticize, and don't leave the door open to further negotiation if your mind is made up. A clean, professional exit preserves relationships and your reputation.

The Bottom Line

A counter-offer is flattering. It feels like recognition you've been waiting for. But flattery is not a career strategy.

The question isn't whether the counter-offer is good — it's whether it solves the problem that made you want to leave. If it does, genuinely and structurally, staying can be the right call. If it's a salary band-aid on a deeper wound, you're choosing short-term comfort over long-term career health.

The best career decisions are made with clarity, not in the emotional rush of your boss telling you they can't afford to lose you. Use the framework. Answer the questions honestly. And whatever you decide, commit to it fully.

Know what you're worth before making the call: Check salary data for your role and city → Preparing for a salary conversation? Read our salary negotiation guide or learn how to negotiate a higher starting salary at your next role. Already evaluating an offer? See how to know if a job offer is good.